There are times when a story so utterly fantastic, so rich in punchlines, so glorious in both quote and illustration, comes along that I can do no more than point you to it. Courtesy of the BBC: “Impotency rub-on gel developed”
Though for extra credit, a) notice the use of the word tool, and b) why is the man rubbing it on his nose?
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Not just any tool, but a “great tool”.