Indiscretions

Posted on November 3, 2006 by Paul

I’m not too interested in revelations about the sex lives of religious figures, such as the recent stories surrounding the penetrative preferences of Pastor Ted Haggard (who is apparently the most important evangelical you’ve probably never heard of). I’m no fan of their hypocrisy, but the emotional issues that cause such people to deny and spout hate against their true natures are a sad thing to see sensationalized across the news cycle. I feel no such compunction, however, about people who push wanton euphemism on us about such a situation, so…

From a Colorado TV station’s report we have the following:

The church’s Acting Senior Pastor, Ross Parsley, tells KKTV 11 News that Pastor Haggard has admitted to some of the indiscretions claimed by Mike Jones, but not all of them.

Indiscretions? INDISCRETIONS?!? I hadn’t realized he’d been accused of taking the spare pennies from the weekly over-60s bingo morning and using the church van to pick his kids up from school. I thought he’d been paying a man for all sorts of disgusting sexual perversions fueled by illegal drug use that will surely condemn his soul to eternal hellfire. Silly me.

Oh, did you notice that the spokesmoron’s name is Parsley? I know it’s cheap of me to find that amusing, but hey, I’m cheap.

Future Earth

Posted on November 3, 2006 by Paul — 1 Comment ↓

I know you’ve been wondering what the earth will look like in 250 million years. Well, wonder no more.

Top 10 Podcasts

Posted on November 2, 2006 by Paul — 2 Comments ↓

The definitive list of my ten favourites:

Mark Kermode’s film reviews – discussion of movies from a professional who dresses like it’s still the 50s. And not ironically, unlike most of the things he says
Filmspotting – discussion of movies from two semi-pros who, without being particularly amusing, are very engaging
The Now Show – comedy and satire handled by experts
the show with zefrank – comedy and satire handled by a man with too much time on his hands
In Business – business news in the US always seemed to be about share prices or ways to get ahead. This one is about the things that businesses do, and the changes they bring about
In Our Time – discussions about pretty much anything, from imaginary numbers to Carolingian history. Just subscribing to this will impress the ladies
Penn Radio Podcast – a true libertarian who is also funny and good at shouting
This American Life – whiny effete East-coast radio done right (did I already make that joke? I did, didn’t I? Oh look, now I’m being self-referential by over-analyzing the minutiae of my life. Hey, I should tape this and put it on This American Life
On The Media – not the best news show out there, but the only one I know of where you get to hear a certain ‘you’re kidding me, right?’ tone in the presenter’s voices when questioning a blowhard from either party
Best of Moyles – fart jokes

and the obligatory bonus item, French Maid TV – updates rarely, about nothing of any great interest, probably beholden to sponsors, but dude, it’s presented by chicks in french maid outfits! Seriously!

I am lame

Posted on November 1, 2006 by Paul

Shocking, no? The source of my lameness today is my love of a Weird Al Yankovic tune called ‘Trapped in the Drive Thru’. Based on R Kelly’s charming work on infidelity, ‘Trapped in the Closet’*, it describes a man’s noble yet continually frustrated efforts to get a bit of something to eat. Kelly’s version (which I listened to only to see what was being parodied, though the parody stands on its own for me) treats an unusual (for most people) situation as mundane, picking out tiny details and tangents along its sprawling length. Al’s version, by contrast, treats the mundane as glorious, the music swelling (huh, I just said swelling) and ebbing along with the narrator’s fortunes.

Here endeth the pretentious music journalism. Oh wait, I didn’t say that it creates a sonic cathedral of sound. There, done.

*(insert your own Ken Mehlman joke here)

Short Story

Posted on October 31, 2006 by Paul — 1 Comment ↓

…or at least a hint of one. As I look out of the window now I can see a driving instructor waiting for his client to come out, and taking the time to check his front driver’s-side bumper for damage. This, I think, tells a story.