Yes, addressing the big issues of our time… our pet gerbils have had a falling out, with one biting the bum of another. The biter has been moved into a cardboard box while we figure out what to do. it’s very unlikely we can reintroduce him to the tank, even though they all seem to be pining for their lost family, because this is a fight to the death over who has the largest gerbil cojones. And I’m damned if I’m spending even more money on another tank to keep him in (the cardboard box isn’t going to last long). On the other hand Claire works for the RSPCA, so we can’t just let him go play in the garden.

So the best option seems to be assembling a divider for the tank so we can have them all in one place, but keep the savage beasts apart. More construction, oh joy.

I aged radically yesterday, suddenly becoming a whole year older than I was the day before. Fortunately this shocking event was cushioned by a trip to the pub with the three people I love most, and a small but perfectly chosen set of gifts (including a teleconverter for my camera, and a photography book from my brother-in-law who has suddenly developed expert taste in gifts for me).

Top tip for plumbing: If you’re connecting two pieces of pipe together use push-in connectors (like this, for example). No soldering, you can take them apart when you make a mistake (not if), and they don’t leak.

By contrast if you need a mechanical piece, like a washing machine connector or valve, choose brass fittings (like this). Plastic is too fragile to keep working if you’re going to be fiddling with it, so the extra hassle of having to tighten up the connectors to the right level is worth it. And while you’re there pick up some extra olives to go inside the brass connector; you’ll thank me when you make a mistake (not if).

I’m installing a kitchen, and have spent the last 4.5 days getting a single cupboard into (the wrong) position. No, it’s not (just) because I’m inept, it’s because the people who built this house had a joyful, carefree attitude to plumbing that I’m having to correct. And then re-correct when I find that the taps I bought are non-standard. And then correct again when a pipe turns out to be in exactly the wrong place for a cupboard. And then again when the dishwasher can’t move back far enough because of a central heating pipe.