Indiscretions

I’m not too interested in revelations about the sex lives of religious figures, such as the recent stories surrounding the penetrative preferences of Pastor Ted Haggard (who is apparently the most important evangelical you’ve probably never heard of). I’m no fan of their hypocrisy, but the emotional issues that cause such people to deny and spout hate against their true natures are a sad thing to see sensationalized across the news cycle. I feel no such compunction, however, about people who push wanton euphemism on us about such a situation, so…

From a Colorado TV station’s report we have the following:

The church’s Acting Senior Pastor, Ross Parsley, tells KKTV 11 News that Pastor Haggard has admitted to some of the indiscretions claimed by Mike Jones, but not all of them.

Indiscretions? INDISCRETIONS?!? I hadn’t realized he’d been accused of taking the spare pennies from the weekly over-60s bingo morning and using the church van to pick his kids up from school. I thought he’d been paying a man for all sorts of disgusting sexual perversions fueled by illegal drug use that will surely condemn his soul to eternal hellfire. Silly me.

Oh, did you notice that the spokesmoron’s name is Parsley? I know it’s cheap of me to find that amusing, but hey, I’m cheap.

Talents

From the BBC:

Heavy mobile use ‘damages sperm’

Take your pick:

  • As if creating life wasn’t enough of a trick
  • But how do they dial?
  • And we think we’re running out of unique numbers
  • Now that’s what I call Pay As You Go
  • I imagine that even a light mobile could damage them
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Double Negatives

There is a craze at work for using the word ‘irregardless’, which is assumed to mean “without regard to” but actually means (if it means anything) “without without regard to”, hence “respectful of”. I like this putdown from The American Heritage Dictionary:

The Third Edition of The American Heritage Dictionary states firmly that “the label ‘nonstandard’ does not begin to do justice to the status of this word”

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Three Fifths

Another great moment in journalism, only this time it’s not their fault:

“Our research found 60% of customers don’t understand percentages so it’s extremely challenging to shop in the store in an informed manner,”

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