I use gmail for most of my personal mail. One of its nifty features is an RSS feed that sits across the top of the screen showing links to interesting content based, in part, on what emails you receive. In the spam folder, rather cutely, it shows recipes involving spam. I had wondered why that was all it showed until this morning, when I realized that the sort of suggestions it might throw up based on the contents of an average spam folder might make you, well, throw up.
No, not a prostate cancer test, but a Public Service Announcement. For those readers in the US and elsewhere who may have read this and been puzzled…well, go and read it first, I don’t want to spoil it.
Back? OK, that word is a reference to a lady’s front bottom. Funny, eh? For advanced naughtiness, now you should be able to work out why the seemingly innocent name Mary Hinge is very amusing to a baser kind of person, such as me.
Despite the fact that my own feed doesn’t work at the moment, in general RSS is A Good Thing ™. And if you want to use this Good Thing, I can now recommend Vienna as a Good Thing to read Good Things with. And it’s free! And it’s Mac only! What more could you want?
I was chided by a friend for not having posted in a while. Far be it from me to keep my fan waiting, even when I’m taking a mental break from all the nauseating excesses of the political and ‘cultural’ world. So instead, I thought we’d go with inanity.
Fire up Google’s map site. Mouse carefully over to the zoom bar thingy on the left, and switch to ultra-zoomy mode without changing the view in any other way. You’ll find that the google-center of the US is just north of the Coffeyville Country Club, which in turn is just north of Coffeyville, Kansas. And why is Coffeyville interesting? Well, frankly it isn’t. But it does have the distinction of not being labelled on Google’s map. Nearby South Coffeyville, scraping out a precarious existence as a lawless Oklahoman border town, gazing jealously across the divide at its rich northern sibling, and while we’re on the subject where the hell does Coffeyville get off not having a compass point attached to its name, why do we proud South Coffeyvillians have to have that hateful qualifier attached, like we were the musty basement of Coffeyvilles? Just because Kansas became a state 46 years before us Coffeyville thinks they can lord it over us like some kind of…big…lordy thing. Heck, they’re so stupid they had to have two goes at incorporating their town. Anyway. South Coffeyville is labelled, from which it is possible to derive the name of its much larger neighbor, but this would seem like a stunning indictment of something if I could be bothered to work up the energy.
More ‘interesting’ facts (OK, fact) about the villes Coffey. If you’re a young bachelor with thoughts of taking a lusty Kansan (or Oklahoman) farming wench for your own, head for the border. The southern Coffeyville has 100 women for every 86.5 men, while just a few miles north in the bustling metropolis that is Coffeyville proper, there are a stunning 100 women for every 82.1 men. No word on how many still have their teeth.
Lest you think I was making up all that stuff about the border, btw, take a look at this amazing map (Coffeyville is the grey checkered pattern just north-east of center). Who knew the border was so prominent?
Next week: Crewe, Coffeyville of the UK.